


Murder 101

by YunsMoonie



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Chaos, Comedy, Crack Treated Seriously, Multi, Murder, Mystery, POV Third Person, plan going wrong, the brothers just want to help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 22:13:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30079113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YunsMoonie/pseuds/YunsMoonie
Summary: Murder 101 or The One Time Mc instantly knew the CulpritsMc is back in the human realm after finishing the exchange year, but they got a new neighbour they're not entirely fond of....the brothers decide to unify and help them...
Relationships: Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Beelzebub (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Original Character(s), Demon Brothers (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Demon Brothers (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Murder 101

This was going to be easy.

He had it all planned out.

This guy was a night-owl, a party hopper, someone similar to Asmo, just less horny, human standard horny at most. What that meant was that this guy was up all night partying and being loud, much to Mc's dismay, but they were here to solve that problem once and for all.

Step 1.: All seven of the brothers were going to teleport there with the first sunlight, early enough to get there unseen and without making to much of a commotion, late enough for their target to be knocked out from a long night.

Step 2.: This is the one time Mammons burglar skills will come in handy, not that Lucifer would ever admit to such a nasty skill being useful. Mammon will open the door with his skills, earning the brothers a quiet entrance to the guys apartment, without drawing the attention of prying neighbours or worse their target, towards themselves.

Step 3.: Just because they got inside without any incidents, does not mean the job is finished. Leaving no traces and especially not getting interrupted are the next priorities. Cleaning the door with disinfectant to get rid of any finger prints, loose hairs or anything that could be used to help the humans identify the culprits, and to prevent interruptions Lucifer will cast a silencing spell to avoid any noises from leaving the confines of the apartment.

Step 4.: Obviously there would be no sense in planning all this if they were to act like uncivilised creatures afterwards. Lucifer, as the self declared head of this mission, drowning out all complaints with abusing the fact of him being the eldest and most powerful, ~~and the fact he would string them up otherwise and do this mission alone,~~ decided on giving everyone a role and certain timing for letting out their anger towards Mc's neighbour.

Beel were to guard the main door, making him last to deliver a satisfying punch, kick, bite or whatever he desired to do to this very unpleasant human.

Asmo and Belphie both not being morning persons themselves, or any time of day person speaking for the latter, were to help guard in the hallway of the apartment cutting of the human in case he was able to flee the grasp of the forefront.

Levi insisted on being the ace of the group and after a PowerPoint presentation with way too many pages, his request was granted. His field of action would be trapping and cornering, for which he proudly presented his cosplay sewing kit, consisting of 30 needles in assorted sizes, 38 differently coloured sewing threads in apparently the most popular colours of all time, 40 sewing pins, a pair of scissors and an assortment of colourful tapes. He would be using the threads for traps to trip over and the needles to slow down the escaping human, all in all not a stupid plan, which would leave him to move a lot to cover enough space.

Mammon, Satan and Lucifer were to act as the forefront who had the most contact with the doomed human.

Lucifer as the eldest made it his priority to make sure the human would understand his wrong doings before he would be inevitably removed from life. As a man of fine arts he knew about one or two good ~~torture techniques~~ non-violent methods to make the human regret his actions and make him beg for forgiveness and cry in ~~pain~~ utter adoration of Lucifer's wisdom and generosity to take his time to explain him his misdemeanour.

Mammon didn't even let someone argue with him about being placed upfront, he was the humans first and therefore he was to be the one to deliver the first punch ~~and force the human to empty his pockets and give the great Mammon the pin code to his checking account.~~ To the surprise of everyone except Mammon, the eldest brother quickly agreed to his request. On later questions he clarified that he'd rather have Mammon in view all the time then sending him off on his own and having to deal with the consequences later.

Satan in direct contact with the guy who Mc hates may sound like a bad plan and in 99% of the cases it will probably end as bad as expected if not even worse, but Lucifer wouldn't be Lucifer if he didn't pride himself in the fact of his absolute commanding control over his six younger brothers. He trusted Satan. As much as his wrath often ended in a fatal resolution, Satan also harboured an ocean of knowledge and with that the ability to analyse the situation objectively. Most of the times Satan is known to keep his cool despite his given sin, and if he can't control himself Lucifer will be there to help his brother out.

Obviously if only Lucifer were to do the _investigation,_ there'd be an uproar started by his brothers all seeking their own revenge for their precious exchange student, therefore everyone would be given a punch or alike, before they all together as the family they are would murder the nasty human who achieved the hate of Mc.

* * *

The ever glowing moon stood high between millions of twinkling stars. Never moving and ever lasting. The Devildom, capital of hell itself, simply didn't have a sun. The sun stood for the light, for the hope and goodness, which is the exact opposite of hell, even though there been changes ever since the young prince started taking over the kingdom, slowly developing hell to a better place and improving relations with the other two realms. The realm of the celestials, the angels as most call them, was the place that harboured the sun for itself, ever lasting sunshine, not a minute of darkness or despair, all freed of evil and sin. The third of the realms was the human realm, a comparably small and residual realm, full of obliviousness towards the magic that connected the realms.

And though only the pale moon ever shone in this realm inhabited by the Devils, seven of those were about to get blinded by the first sunbeams creeping over the asphalt of the still sleeping city while the rising sun slowly announces the dawn of a new day.

The seven Avatar of sin stood assembled at one of the few portals that connected the different realms with each other. A lowly demon wouldn't be able to cross those gates for it's magical power wouldn't be sufficient enough to cross the realms without help. If a lower class demon had business in the human realm, they needed the permission and help of a higher demon, those who were politically close to the young prince and future Devil King Diavolo. All portals were guarded each hour of the day to prevent daredevils to wreck havoc and cause problems.

The gate in which Lucifer and his brother now stood was one that connected the Devildom with the human realm. As the right-hand man of Diavolo, Lucifer didn't need permission nor help to activate the portal and visit the realm beyond whenever he pleases, though he rarely took use of this advantage as busy as he was.

Demons as Lucifer or Barbatos and even well knowledgable sorcerer like Solomon, were able to teleport without the help of a magical gate as well, but those teleportations couldn't be tracked and it might rise suspicion if the seven brothers were to disappear all at once without a word. Not that it hadn't happened before while getting sucked into one of the games the thirdborn had newly acquired or when they yet again got roped into one of Mammons debts. But this time was different ever since the former human exchange student had went back home, the brothers had been seen spending less and less time together, the motivation to not rip off each others throats was dwindling low without Mc around.

They even had been seen sulking not that anyone of them would ever admit to that and would rather get rid of the source of information, then to justify themselves. And though they were sad, they still had their D.D.D's with which they were able to write and talk with Mc. Though not planned at first, Diavolo admitted it would be a shame to loose contact with Mc and granted her wish of taking the phone-like device back with them into the human realm. It took some adjustments and a little bit of magic by Solomon but after a short amount of time the D.D.D worked and got connection to all three realms.

The amount of messages Mc got daily were uncountable, every little detail was suddenly worth a message; Asmo went shopping? Guess who got about 50 pictures of him posing in all his new articles. Satan finished a new book? Guess who got a whole novel-worthy message of feedback. Levi sending her each pull in that new gacha game he is all about at the moment and live commenting the anime he is currently watching without Mc even seeing it and yet understanding the plot thanks to his loads of messages.

Of course the messages stacked the other way around as well as Mc informs the brothers of her daily life, though it seems a bit more bland then they got used to in their exchange year. Mc still catches themselves tensing whenever someone gets angry, gaze drifting towards their heads expecting horns to grow, ready to run and call for one of the brothers protection. The year in hell changed Mc, but they wouldn't want it any other way.

Most messages between Mc and the brothers would stay a secret, occasionally one got talked about at the dining table of the house lamentation to brag and provoke certain reactions of the others, but there was one message which got repeatedly send in different variations over the time of days, weeks even.

The meaning of those messages was always the same: the new neighbour was more than just annoying.

Over the year Mc lived in a different realm not known to most of mankind, a guy moved in next door and he was the worst. Loud party noises coming from inside nearly every night, loud and repetitive door banging as the guests would walk in and out of the apartment,the halls reeking of alcohol, cigarette stumps and empty bottles covered the floor, the trash bags he was too lazy to bring down to the dumpsters were building a small trash castle next to his door. How often Mc and other neighbours had called the police, but they would only end the party for the night, give the guy a warning and take their leave. Obviously that didn't stop the party animal to turn on the music to the maximum and invite all his friends and probably even strangers the next night again. Due to the amount of calls the police was fed up, no way were they going to rewrite the same report every night and so a warning it was, if they even came, often enough they wouldn't even show up at the apartment complex to solve the problem.

Something had to be done. And if the humans didn't act then the demon brothers would help Mc.

Just that demons didn't exactly had any authority over humans and so Lucifer's plan to solve this little problem through a less conventional method came to life, even though Asmo was a bit reluctant considering his behaviour was quite similar and he didn't want Lucifer to react like that the next time he threw a party.

Theoretically the plan was solid. But as Lucifer opens the gate and him and his six younger brothers walk through,a queasy feeling overcomes the prideful demon.

The first rays of the morning sun are already starting to become stronger, as the seven make their way up into the building, finding the apartment in question easily marked by the filthy castle towering next to the once equally white as the others, now more greyish coloured door.

Without much talking, Mammon kneels down unsuccessfully avoiding a puddle of something that is leaking out of one of the bags. He pulls out a very professional looking lock pick set out of the inside of his jacket, making everyone's jaw drop.

“What ya think I'd do this with a hair clip? Or a credit card? I would never do something like that to my dear Goldie! But if Lucifer would want to give me his credit card, then I might open it with that” Mammon whisper-yelled, earning him a couple of glares for making so much noise.

With a sigh Mammon turns back to the door and keeps trying. After several failed attempts the brothers start to get impatient. Belphie having enough grabs the lock pick from Mammons hand and kneels down next to him to try his luck as well, only to stay as lucky as Mammon before.

“The locks in the human world seem to be way more secure than in the Devildom” concludes Satan clearly annoyed by the unforeseen trouble even before the main part had started.

“Maybe we could ring the bell and then overpower him when he opens the door” suggests Beel earning an approving hum from his twin and Asmo.

“Even though that would be easy to do, he would probably start screaming and alarm the neighbours with it” states Levi, “but we have to do something or else it gets too late.”

Silence reigns as everyone thinks about a plan.

“Mammon, Belphie stand up and move away from the door! Beel can you ram the door open? It'll make a loud sound,but the neighbours are more used to such sounds than someone screaming. As soon as the door is open everyone moves inside, we close the door and Lucifer casts his silencing spell. We regroup inside assessing the situation before we move to our places, if that is still possible.” comes Satan up with a strategy that everyone follows.

Lucifer puts up his hand signalling a countdown for Beel to open the door.

5...

4...

3...

2...

With the last finger going down Beel surges forward into the door like the Fangol player he is. The door can't withstand the strength of Beel and cracks open. Like planned everyone moves quickly inside and Lucifer closes the door and cast his spell.

The apartment is silent besides the quiet panting of the brothers who are catching their breaths after the sprint inside. But precaution is better than cure and so with a nod they come to the agreement to stay as quiet as possible to not attract any more attention.

Beel takes his position in front of the door while Asmo and Belphie walk down the hallway guarding in the middle and at the end of it. Levi starts his work on preparing the sewing threads through spanning them like tripwires and dropping the needles thinking about each place with a thoughtful expression as if it'd really mattered.

All five doors along the hallway are closed, leaving the trio of the forefront no other choice but to open them one after another. The bathroom empty. A small storage room also empty. The kitchen empty. The living room empty.

Lucifer, Satan and Mammon exchange one glance of reassurance before opening the last door.

The bedroom empty.

Confusion breaks out, where is the human?

All rooms get checked twice and thrice by the brother, every nook and cranny gets searched and still no sign of this pesky human who gives Mc so much trouble.

“Did nobody check if he would be at home today?” asks Belphie with a yawn, this is was starting to get tiring, so much movement but the bed looked quite comfy. If only he had time to take a short nap.

Accusations fall, voices are getting louder until they're more screams and yells several pitches higher than normal, the violet miasma starts to waver each one of them, foreboding their demon forms to break out.

Satan breaks first, his horns show and his tail instantly starts slashing through the air as soon as it had manifested. His fists are tightening making his knuckles turn white. With his transformation everyone else snaps as well.

Seven demons standing in the hallway of some absent human they had planned to murder, now turning against each other as the frustration settles in. Fists are thrown, insults are yelled, sharp claws find hold in each other clothes ripping them to shreds, walls get hit leaving holes behind.

To the outside world everything seemed fine, no sound left the apartment and no neighbour seemed

it necessary to check the the loud crash from before.

Inside it was just loud, it was chaos nobody had any control over anything more. Even Lucifer who prided himself in self control, let his frustration and anger free roam, not caring this one time.

It was so loud that nobody heard the door open. Only when Beel, who was currently trying to eat a part of the wall as his gluttony took over, looked over to the door in search for more food, someone noticed the human male standing with his key in hand, jaw dropped and eyes opened wide, not believing the scene that's been playing in front him.

Beel was quick to react be it due to him understanding the situation or the outlook of eating a fresh human soul, nobody would know, but the movement of Beel pushed Mammon stumbling into Levi, who now also both noticed the small human that's been watching on in fear.

The doors been slammed close and the human pushed to the wall next to the bathroom. A pathetic sound leaving the human while he struggled to free the grip of Beel. The tumult finally settled as everyone realised the situation.

Panting filled the hallway as they calmed down, eyeing the human who entered the picture.

“Do you live here?” Lucifer took the initiative after recovering first.

A small nod comes from the human who is undoubtedly in fear of the beings with horns, tails and wings.

“Alone?” questions Satan further to rule out the possibility of having the wrong person, not that they were able to just let him leave after what he had seen.

Another nod confirms that this here is the annoying human who gives Mc such a hard time and now even the brothers, leaving them very riled up and ready to let out some steam.

Without another word everyone lines up delivering a punch to the human, into his gut and face are preferred places to receive the demons fists.

The guy dropped down to the knees from pain, groans as Lucifer lifts him up by his collar and drags him into the living room, Satan, Mammon and even Levi following with grim faces.

Screams of pain and whimpers can be heard behind the closed door of the living room.

In the hallway on the contrary Beels grumbling stomach turns out any other noise. He drags himself into the kitchen and seats himself in front of the fridge, emptying it's contents in an impressive speed only the avatar of gluttony could manage.

Asmo complains about his fingernails having cracked in the small fight that broke out, making Belphie roll his eyes in annoyance and leaving Asmo alone in the hall while he let himself drop onto the bed, exhaustion kicking in almost immediately.

Being left alone without having someone to complain too, Asmo quickly decides to join the four brothers in the living room.

The human by now has gone silent, clearly dead in a ever growing puddle of his own blood.

“He looks so not beautiful, unlike me” stated Asmo with disgust having forgotten about his problems as he fishes for some make up in his hand bag he refused to leave at home as it held things he might need in an emergency (mostly consisting out of make up and condoms).

Even the professionally applied make up did not make the paling guys appearance better.

“Maybe some glitter will distract from the main problem, which clearly is the whole guy...”, Asmo whispers more to himself then the others as he gracefully dumps his whole bottle of glitter on the human.

Meanwhile Satan is ~~stealing~~ borrowing books, as Levi does the same with some video games he found in a small carton underneath the TV table. Mammon scavenges for treasures and other valuables while occasionally dropping one or two bills of his accrued debts and keeping it going as Lucifer doesn't stop him.

Lucifer clearly had enough stress for about a century not that anyone cared and would not get him in trouble any time soon again. He cleared his throat and collected his ~~children~~ brothers, his mind already thinking about a nice relaxing bottle of Demonus to drown his stress.

They quickly left the building everyone a bit distracted by the event, teleported back into their realm and made their way to their home where they left for their respective rooms and the kitchen, in Beels case, without another word.

* * *

Putting on their shoes and jacket, Mc was ready to leave for the day and go to work. Grabbing their keys on the way out and making sure to lock the door behind them. As they navigate through the garbage dump they once recalled being a hall connected with the stairway out of the house, they notice the door of their least favourite neighbour being only slightly ajar, but not closed.

Mc as the good human they are, even towards a asshole like this neighbour, knocks softly at the door asking if someone is home. For a second they consider to just close the door and leave, but decide against it.

Entering the apartment, they notice the half broken down walls of the hallway some of them having...bite marks? The floor is also specked with sewing needles and pins and they can make out sewing thready being spun from one wall to another like tripwire.

Carefully as to not step on anything they navigate to the first room, the bathroom, besides the big whole in the wall right over the bathtub, there is nothing wrong.

The next door is a small storage here also seems to be everything fine so they move on and enter the kitchen. Greeting them is a wide opened fridge emptied out completely, the floor is covered in trash of the food it once contained, some of then having chunks bitten out as if the person wasn't able to wait for the package to open.

Upon entering the living room Mc's breath stops for a second, there in the middle on the floor lays their neighbour in a puddle of blood, bills and glitter, and with a truckload of make up covering his face.

It's not the first time for them to see a corpse, the Devildom sure steeled them for this even though they didn't think they ever had to find something like that ever again.

The shelves of the living room show empty spots as if books or other valuables got taken out and a carton has been emptied of it's contents on the floor right next to the body, all things laying there being video games.

Lastly Mc checks the bedroom for good measurement in case there is another corpse.

The clues clearly lead to this no doubt. With a sigh Mc fishes their D.D.D out and opens the group chat “House of Lamentation”.

Mc: Hey guys! Remember the neighbour I frequently complained about?

He is dead now. I actually got to see the crime scene.

His body was covered in glitter and bills.

The whole apartment looks like it got looted for everything of worth like books and games

Oh! And I found Belphie sleeping in his bed....

Sooo I appreciate the effort, but you don't have to kill everyone I don't like!

Lucifer: Thank goodness, I don't think I could have dealt with that stress again

Levi: It so didn't feel like a video game lol so exhausting,

I'll be playing my newly acquired games now

Asmo: But Mc the glitter did distract from his problem zones right?

Mc: Sure..Almost didn't notice the blood....

After waking a complaining Belphie and transporting him into Mc's bed, they called the police knowing that there is no way they'll find out who the culprits were.


End file.
